their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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