need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
