A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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