I smell stomach acid.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When did angry sex become our thing?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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