He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
my poor anus
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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