But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
