PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
