the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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