i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize