Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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