i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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