But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
