So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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