Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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