So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
