I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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