i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My vagina just recognized that song.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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