Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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