is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
