Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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