i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
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Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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