What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
