We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
