he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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