If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
