Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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