my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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