That's intense
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
