If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
