Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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