Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize