I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
