one might say we're banned from that church
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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