Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Nicole vs. Life
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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