we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
