**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
