You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
