It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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