Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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