Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
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THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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