he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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