based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
