8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
