Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
