I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
