I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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