I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i was born a porn star she said
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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