the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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