Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
