P.S. I can't hear my feet
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
