I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize