ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
