Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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