Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
nutella sex= disaster
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i need some magic done to my vagina
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
