Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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