wanna go halves on a baby?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
