umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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