i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
