Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
